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Robert Mackey is a retired construction worker and real estate investor turned writer. He currently resides near the megalopolis of Addy, Washington, a hamlet working desperately to attain the coveted ‘One Horse’ status. So far, all they have is one of those stick ponies. You know, the stick with the little plastic horse head at the end that you hold between your legs and run around with playing cowboy? Actually, half the people in town have one of those. The other half have stick cows. Every spring, the people with the ponies round up the people with the cows and chase them into the hills to pasture for the summer. It’s pretty quiet around town in the summer. (Got a little sidetracked there.)

He lives there with his lovely wife Janice and his teenage son Joshua, who has a vocabulary consisting of two sentences, which Joshua feels are sufficient to get him through the balance of his life. They are as follows: “Huh?” and “I don’t know.” If this is how you communicate with your parents, you are perfectly healthy. If you share more of yourself than that, that’s probably okay, too. However, if you are sharing and your parents are talking to one another at the same time, or they keep saying something like, “That’s nice, honey,” at inappropriate intervals, it means one of two things. Either they are busy and now is not the best time to present your day’s experiences, or you just simply talk too much.

Wait, this is turning into a really poorly thought-out lesson about parent/child interaction and it doesn’t belong here. On second thought, never take advice from anyone who writes goofy stuff like Mr. Mackey does. Thank you.